Faith
by IcedHeat
Summary: When everything else is stripped away, all you are left with is faith. You may find it is not placed where you thought. SJ 'ship
1. Faith Chapter One

Title: Faith

Chapter: 1 of ?  
Email: S/J

Category: Angst/Romance  
Spoilers: Jack's a General; Sam's a Colonel and engaged; one minor reference to Affinity. General spoilers up to season eight.  
Content Warnings: None  
Summary:

Rating: Suitable for all.  
Disclaimer: I do not own SG-1. Stamps foot and tosses hair childishly.   
Archive: SJFic - Yes. My site, Anywhere else - Yes.

Author's Note: Please feedback me, I'm greedy.

_He'll find me. _

_He always finds me._

The mantra that had gotten her through her ordeal with the super soldier at the alpha site was repeating in her mind.

That time she had only just begun to disbelieve it when he had appeared from nowhere. He had found her.

He saved her.

And he would do it again.

He hadn't let her down yet.

She shut down the part of her brain that reasoned that a Brigadier General would not be able to drop everything and go off-world to rescue for an errant Lieutenant Colonel.

She clung to the belief that he wouldfind her through the beatings that continued until pain lost all meaning.

Through the interrogations that went on until the questions made no sense.

Through the darkness of her cell and the harsh brightness of the interrogation chamber.

_He **will** find me._

When all other certainties fled she clung to that one.

She had no way of knowing how long she had been held there. No way of knowing when help would come.

But she knew that it would.

_He will find me._

She knew that Daniel and Teal'c had made it back to the gate. She had watched them go through as she went down under fire from the locals.

She knew that within seconds of the wormhole disengaging he would know what had happened to her.

_He has to find me._

At first, she had been shocked to discover that she believed that he would be the one to find her, rather than Daniel or Teal'c.

But the certainty had always been there. It would be him that found her. It had to be.

There might be others with him, but it would be him that had found her. That had saved her. Again.

It was something they had always done.

She worked logically, continuously, to find a way to bring him home.

He searched tirelessly, relentlessly, until she was safe.

They had played this game so long they knew the rules by heart, but it didn't mean it hurt her any less when he took care to distance himself once she was home safe.

He would be there while she slept in the infirmary, watching over her, as if to reassure himself that she was safe. That she was home.

Sometimes he was still there when she awoke. He never stayed very long, just long enough to let her know she was safe. A smile, probably a lame joke, and he was gone.

_He has to find me._

But he had been distant lately. She knew why.

A small, black velvet box contained all the reason he needed to distance himself.

True, it had begun before she showed him the ring Pete gave her, but since then he had taken a step back, as if to say, _enough_.

Lying in her cell with nothing but her faith in him for company, she began to wonder if she hadn't been making a terrible mistake.

What if he didn't care enough to come and get her anymore?

Of course, he still cared. The same way he cared about all the SG teams. The same way he cared about Daniel and Teal'c. Not 'more than he was supposed to'.

Not anymore.

She knew he would come for Daniel and Teal'c.

But Daniel and Teal'c hadn't hurt him, had they?

She had.

She didn't think it would work if he didn't come.

He would send another team. Daniel and Teal'c, maybe. But he wouldn't come himself.

_He has to come._

It was their charm. In her most superstitious of moments, she really believed it.

It had to be him that came to get her. Or it wouldn't work.

The search and rescue team would be too late.

They'd all be killed.

She had hurt him too much.

_He isn't coming._

Her captors came for her again, taking her to the too-bright interrogation chamber. She paid no attention as they strapped her to the table. She could feel hot tears streaming down her face, and knew her captors would think they had won.

They were pleased. They had finally broken the alien woman. She had proven to be much tougher than they expected. She had held out against them for far longer than they would have thought possible.

As they approached her with the interrogation tools she broke her silence of the past weeks, her voice coming out in a whisper, "_Please, Jack._"

Her captors looked from one to the other in surprise. In the weeks that she had been here, the alien woman had made no sound. Not a scream, not a whimper. She had looked at them as though she knew something they didn't about their futures, a look no prisoner had a right to wear.

Now the woman in front of them was broken, as though she had finally realised where she was and what was happening.

_Please, Jack._

They threw her back in her cell. Their hopes at getting something out of her now she was talking dashed.

She just kept repeating the same thing. Over and over. _Please, Jack._

They had no idea who she was talking about.

They had observed the alien woman and her companions for some time before they ambushed them.

The woman was called both Sam and ColonelCarter.

One of the men was Daniel and DanielJackson.

The other had only one name: Teal'c.

There had been no Jack.

The woman was obviously delirious.

They would have to kill her soon.

She lay on her back on the dirty cell floor, her eyes closed. Tears seeped from under her eyelids.

She had tried to save herself. She had tried to get out of here on her own. It wasn't possible.

There were no handy loose hinges. No electronics she could hotwire. No jailers who were being attacked by their conscience.

It was up to him.

And he wasn't coming.

It wasn't that she had no faith in whoever he would send.

She just knew that it wouldn't work. And if it did, she had lost something precious. Something she needed.

The next time they took her she came back unconscious. They threw her into the cell and didn't notice the next day that she hadn't moved.

Her eyelids twitched fitfully as she dreamt.

She was aware of the stench of cell around her. Of muffled voices going past her cell.

She couldn't wake up. Sleep paralysis had taken over every limb.

A loud noise. An explosion. The clank of metal hitting the hard stone of the cell floor. A hand touching her neck, taking her pulse. Words she couldn't understand. And there it was, muffled, but a voice she recognised. A scent she knew.

Then it was gone, strong arms lifted her, carrying her away from the cell. She moaned in protest. The scent she recognised had gone.

It was back, along with soothing words that, while they meant nothing, made her feel better.

Then there were loud sounds again, she recognised the deafening chatter from somewhere.

She was being jostled; the logical part of her mind that constantly analysed everything told her that whoever was carrying her was running.

Then…

A loud flushing sound that she remembered from her life before the cell. For a split second there was icy cold.

More familiar sounds. A loud, irritating noise. _Alarm_.

A voice. "Wormhole disengaged!" _Walter?_

She was home.

"I need a med team!" _Him_. _Jack. Sir._

"Uh… Jack?" _Daniel_. Stuttering. Worried. Why?

"General O'Neill! Briefing room! Now!" _Trouble_.

Sam lost consciousness.


	2. Faith Chapter Two

Title: Faith

Chapter: 2 of ?  
Email: S/J

Category: Angst/Romance  
Spoilers: Jack's a General; Sam's a Colonel and engaged; more importantly, Teal'c has hair. General spoilers up to season eight.  
Content Warnings: None  
Summary:

Rating: Suitable for all.  
Disclaimer: I do not own SG-1. Stamps foot and tosses hair childishly.   
Archive: SJFic - Yes. My site. Anywhere else - Yes.

Author's Note: Please feedback me, I'm greedy.

Soft sounds.

Softness all around her.

Clean, somewhat sterilised, scents.

The infirmary.

The SGC.

Home.

Sam opened her eyes. There was an IV in her arm, probably feeding her, she must be malnourished.

"Hey, Sam." Daniel.

Sam looked up. Daniel and Teal'c were sitting around her infirmary bed.

"Hi." She said, surprised at how weak her voice sounded.

Daniel gave a little wave, but she noticed the smile he offered her didn't reach his eyes.

Teal'c looked grave. A reversion to the Jaffa that first joined SG-1. "ColonelCarter. It is good to see you awake again."

Teal'c. Teal'c had carried her from the cell. He had brought her home. But he hadn't been alone.

Daniel had been at the SGC when she got back. She remembered his voice.

Daniel and Teal'c watched as she worked it out.

Jack had come for her. He wasn't here now. When the guys were around he usually stayed a little while longer, using them as chaperones.

Something was wrong. She could see it in Daniel's expression and Teal'c's lack thereof.

Then she remembered.

"_Uh… Jack?" _

"_General O'Neill! Briefing room! Now!"_

She looked questioningly up at Daniel. "What is it, Daniel?"

Daniel hesitated before answering, shooting a look at Teal'c, who inclined his head almost imperceptibly.

"Um… Sam… Jack's in trouble. Serious trouble."

"Why?" She asked, already knowing the answer.

"O'Neill disobeyed a direct order in coming to rescue you. His superiors" Sam was surprised at the venom Teal'c injected into the word, "ordered him not to send a rescue party for you."

Sam looked from Teal'c to Daniel. The archaeologist looked extremely angry and worried all at once.

"They're crucifying him, Sam." He told her, anger inherent in every syllable.

The briefing room was hot. Jack lounged in one of the chairs, his green BDU Jacket slung over the backrest.

In contrast the people opposite him sat bolt upright, stiff in their suits. Both men were wearing Air Force dress blues. The stars on the older man's shoulders identifying him as a Major General. His name was Thomas Lewis.

Jack had known him a long time ago.

His presence had amused Jack. It wasn't usual for the brass to send a General to deal with him. Must be one of the perks the stars on the lapels of his jacket granted him, and the Pentagon obviously hadn't done a thorough background check on Lewis. Either that, or they thought Jack deserved someone on his side.

The other man had identified himself as Colonel Fredericks. He kept shooting glares at Jack that he felt were totally undeserved.

Jack smiled at them.

"Something funny, General?" Lewis asked.

"No." Jack said, not offering them anything else.

There was a respectful knock on the briefing room door. Jack turned. It was Walter.

"General, a Brenda Clarke has arrived from the Pentagon; she says she's here for the investigation." Walter said, speaking to Jack.

Jack flicked a glance across the table at General Lewis. The man was seemingly unmoved by Walter's deference to Jack, who was under investigation, and as such technically, temporarily, relieved of his command.

Fredericks, however, looked apoplectic.

"Show her in, Walter." Jack said.

Walter nodded and disappeared, not before shooting a dirty look at the two officers seated opposite Jack.

"You guys really shoulda come together." Jack said conversationally.

"I really don't think you should be advising us on what we _should_ have done, General." Colonel Fredericks said.

Jack rolled his eyes and said nothing.

"What are you gonna do, Sam?" Daniel asked, speaking through the curtain that Sam had pulled around her bed, giving her some privacy to dress.

"If he's under investigation, he's entitled to a witness." Sam said, pulling the curtain back. She was dressed in green BDU's, same as Daniel and Teal'c.

"Lucky I got the colour for the day." Daniel said, smiling.

"I believe a show of solidarity will be most advantageous at this time." Teal'c said, smiling slightly.

Sam smiled at her friends. Then her smile faded. "Didn't they tell you he was entitled to a witness?" She asked.

Daniel shook his head.

"Didn't _he_ tell you?"

"He did not." Teal'c told her.

"Stubborn." Daniel said, as the three of them headed out of the infirmary.

"I do not believe so." Teal'c said. "O'Neill did not wish to… drag us down with himself." The cliché sounded strange coming from Teal'c, causing his team mates to look at him strangely.

As the three members of SG-1 neared the briefing room the atmosphere hit them. It was most definitely hostile.

They slowed, listening in.

"What excuse can you give for your behaviour, General?" Brenda Clarke demanded.

"None." Jack said.

"None? Come on General O'Neill, you usually do better than that!" Clarke sounded frustrated.

"Usually?" Jack's asked, his voice languid.

"Your lame excuses for insubordination are well documented, General." Colonel Fredericks said.

"Cool."

"Well?"

"Well what?" Jack asked, obviously doing his utmost to be difficult, and succeeding masterfully.

"You were ordered not to go in search of Lieutenant Colonel Carter. Why did you?" Fredericks sounded extremely angry.

"Easy, Fredericks." Jack said, mockingly.

"Don't let him get to you, Colonel." General Lewis said, sounding less annoyed than the others. "Now, General, answer the Colonel's question."

"I don't have to, do I?" Jack asked, sounding bored.

"What makes you say that?"

"Oh, c'mon. You guys came here with your own preconceptions of why I did it. And I'm pretty sure I know what they are."

"And just what do you think they are, General?" Clarke asked nastily.

"We cannot allow them to dishonour O'Neill in this fashion." Teal'c told Daniel and Sam in a low voice.

Sam nodded and made to enter the briefing room, but Daniel put a hand on her arm, stilling her. "Listen." He whispered.

Inside the briefing room, Jack was answering the question. "You think I did it because you think I'm in love with Colonel Carter." He said.

Out in the corridor Sam gasped at Jack's audacity. "I can't believe he said that!" She hissed to Daniel and Teal'c.

Lewis spoke next. "And are you?"

"Sure. Why not?"

"General O'Neill!" Fredericks exclaimed, obviously shocked at Jack's attitude.

"What? I'm just wondering what you guys would have said if I'd gone for Daniel, or Teal'c."

"Then you are not fraternising with your subordinate?" The calm man asked.

"Fraternising with my subordinate?" Jack repeated. "I think I should make something clear here. I didn't go to that planet for my _subordinate_," Jack said, as though the word were distasteful. "I went to that planet for my friend."

"Your friend?" The woman repeated.

"Yes." Jack said.

In the corridor Daniel winced. He could tell that Jack was about to push his luck.

He wasn't disappointed.

"I can see that the concept is completely alien to you." Jack added.

Before Clarke could speak again, General Lewis said, "General O'Neill, as I am sure you are aware, there have long been rumours concerning yourself and Lieutenant Colonel Carter. This last… incident… has only served to… inflame our concerns."

"Inflame your concerns about what?" Jack asked.

"The way you run this place!" Colonel Fredericks exclaimed, as though he couldn't believe Jack hadn't guessed.

Sam, Daniel and Teal'c had finally had enough. "What's wrong with the way he runs this place?" Daniel asked, entering the room ahead of his friends.

"Daniel!" Jack exclaimed, smiling at his friend.

"Jack." Daniel said in greeting.

"Sir." Sam said, nodding to Jack.

"O'Neill. Do you require my assistance in dealing with these… humans?" Teal'c asked, sending his best First Prime glare at the people seated opposite Jack.

Jack, however, was staring at Sam. "Carter, what the hell are you doing out of the infirmary?"

"I heard there was a lynch mob in town, sir." Sam replied.

"I can't believe you guys let her leave the infirmary!" Jack said, glaring at Daniel and Teal'c.

"We didn't _let_ her do anything." Daniel said.

"I believe the phrase 'undomesticated equines' could be applied here, O'Neill." Teal'c said.

"I take it these people are SG-1?" Colonel Fredericks said.

"What?" Jack asked, distracted. "Oh yeah. Lieutenant Colonel Carter, Dr Daniel Jackson and Teal'c. I'm sure you've heard of them."

General Lewis turned to SG-1. "I am going to have to ask you people to leave. This is a private meeting."

"They're just leaving." Jack said pointedly.

"Like hell we are!" Daniel exclaimed. "I am not going to stand by and let these people pick you apart, Jack."

"Dr Jackson, while your loyalty to General O'Neill is admirable… your presence here is not appropriate." Fredericks said.

"Why not?" Daniel demanded, glaring at Fredericks.

"You are not a member of the Air Force."

"I am." Sam said quietly.

"Carter…" Jack said warningly.

"Sir?"

"What are you doing?"

"I want to know why these people didn't see to it that you had a witness, sir." Sam said, her glare not shifting from the people on the other side of the table.

"If you are suggesting that you be General O'Neill's witness, Colonel, I am afraid that is not possible. You are too biased, as are Dr Jackson and Teal'c." General Lewis told her gently.

"Perhaps someone else on the base?" Clarke suggested.

Sam laughed mirthlessly. "Do you really think you could find someone on this base that isn't biased? Good luck."

"Carter, I am ordering you to get your ass back down to the infirmary and stay there." Jack said.

"No, sir."

"So this is how the SGC operates is it?" The woman said. "Barely contained insubordination and flagrant disregard of the regulations that are supposed to govern the armed forces."

"Yes, ma'am. That's exactly how we operate." Jack snapped, glaring at the woman. "Which," he added, "is an improvement on how we operated, say, ten years ago."

"General, the Stargate program was not in operation ten years ago." Fredericks said.

Jack stood and snatched a copy of his own service record from the small pile of papers in front of Clarke. "Ten years ago the Stargate program operating out of Cheyenne Mountain deployed an Air Force officer, who according to his most recent psyche evaluation was 'unfit for active duty due to severe depression.' Someone who had 'exhibited an inclination towards suicidal behaviour,' and could be considered a 'danger' to any mission he was sent on. I quote from the psyche evaluation of one Colonel Jonathan J. O'Neill circa 1994. I'm sure you've all read it."

He tossed the file back onto the briefing room table. "You guys at the Pentagon brought me back. You guys put me in charge of this place. I _told _you it wasn't a good idea."

General Lewis was smiling slightly. "You haven't changed, have you, Jack?" He asked gently.

"You expected me to?" Jack shot back, glaring at the older man.

"You're a General now. I would have thought that would have mellowed you." Lewis said, holding Jack's gaze.

Jack snorted derisively. "Cut the crap, Tom. I haven't changed since you met me."

"No, you haven't. Probably what's kept you alive all these years. God knows I can't find another reason for it." Lewis said, his eyes smiling at Jack.

"Sit down, General O'Neill." Clarke said.

Jack complied, glaring at her.

"We merely wish to discover if there is any truth to these… rumours." Lewis said.

"What do you want me to say?" Jack asked.

"I want you to say no." Lewis said.

At the same moment, Clarke said, "Tell us the truth, General."

Before Jack could speak Daniel said, "I can't believe you people." He sounded truly astonished.

"Daniel…" Jack warned.

"No, Jack. You saved Sam."

"Teal'c helped." Jack said.

"I could not have found ColonelCarter without you, O'Neill. Neither could I have removed her from the cells." Teal'c responded.

Jack shrugged.

"You rescued their foremost expert on the Stargate, and they want to string you up for it?"

"We are not questioning the facts of what General O'Neill did, Dr Jackson." Lewis said. "We are merely trying to ascertain his motives."

"General, we already know his motives!" Clarke interjected.

"Do we?" Lewis asked, turning to look at the woman with some interest.

"You know we do, sir." Fredericks said.

"And what might those be, Colonel?" Lewis asked.

"Her!" Fredericks said, pointing at Sam.

"You will address my officer by her rank, Colonel Fredericks." Jack said, his mild tone belied by the hard set of his jaw

"I don't think you're in any position to give me orders, General O'Neill." Fredericks said.

"Fredericks!" Lewis snapped.

"But, General, sir-" Fredericks began.

He was interrupted by General Lewis. "You will not speak to your superior officer like that!"

"General, that man is a disgrace to the Air Force and everything it stands for!" Clarke said. Fredericks nodded his agreement.

Before any member of SG-1 could speak, Lewis glared at the people sitting with him. "I have known Jack O'Neill since he was… sixteen?" He paused looking at Jack.

"Fifteen." Jack told him.

"Fifteen years old." Lewis continued, nodding his thanks. "By the time he was twenty-two I owed him my life three times over. I can assure you, Mrs Clarke, that he is in no way a disgrace to the Air Force. He is an asset. You will not speak to him like that again. Do I make myself clear?"

Clarke and Fredericks buckled under the General's glare.

Satisfied Lewis turned to SG-1. "Have a seat, SG-1."

Clarke and Fredericks looked slightly peeved at his inclusion of SG-1, but said nothing as  
they took seats along Jack's side of the table.

Lewis turned to Jack. "Jack?"

Jack opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by Sam.

"General Lewis, sir, if I may say something?"

Everyone at the table turned to look at her, surprised.

Lewis nodded.

Sam ignored the dark look Jack shot her and concentrated on the people sitting opposite.

"I feel I am to blame for General O'Neill's non-compliance with his orders."

"Carter-" Jack began, only to be interrupted by Lewis.

"Let Colonel Carter finish, Jack." He said. "How is this so, Colonel?"

"Anyone who knows General O'Neill knows he feels a certain… obligation… to the people under his command." Sam paused, swallowing hard before going on, "Despite my previous experience, when I first joined SG-1 I did not possess half the skills I have come to rely on over the past eight years. It was General O'Neill that taught me some of the most important lessons of my career."

She paused, looking at the three people sitting opposite. She was aware of Daniel and Teal'c's eyes on her. And acutely aware that Jack was examining a spot on the briefing room table that had held his attention since she started speaking.

"On my last mission I failed to get myself home safely with my team. I then failed again: I could not escape the prison that the natives held me in." She looked at General Lewis. "General, you've known General O'Neill a long time?"

Lewis nodded. "I have."

"Taking into account all I've just said, what would you say his reaction to my failure would be?"

"I wouldn't call it a failure, Colonel-" Lewis began.

"If you could just answer the question, sir." Sam said, cutting him off.

Lewis narrowed his eyes at Sam, switching his gaze from her to Jack and back again. "Jack would see it as his failure, not yours." He admitted grudgingly.

Sam nodded.

Fredericks felt compelled to interrupt. "I still don't see that that would be enough for a career officer, like General O'Neill, to disobey a direct order."

Lewis snorted his amusement, but said nothing.

"I agree." Sam said. "However there are extenuating circumstances."

"And those are?"

Sam swallowed in a suddenly dry throat. This had seemed so simple at first. Save him. It was her turn after all.

All she had to do was tell the truth.

"My feelings for General O'Neill."

"And just how do you feel about him?" Fredericks asked nastily.

Sam smiled. "I care about him." Sam said. Jack looked up, his eyes begging her to just _shut up_. "A helluva lot more than I'm supposed to." She added.

For a moment there was absolute silence around the table.

Absurdly, Daniel and Teal'c looked pleased. General Lewis looked down at the table, masking his expression.

In the eyes of Clarke and Fredericks, triumph bloomed.

Jack stood. "Carter, my office, now." He snapped tersely.

Sam stood to follow him.

"Whatever you have to say will be said in this room, General." Clarke said.

Jack turned and smiled. It wasn't a friendly expression, it was a warning. _Keep pushing me…_

"Fine." He said. He turned to Sam. "What the hell do you think you're doing Colonel?"

"Being honest." Sam said.

"Shut the hell up, Carter." He snapped.

Sam looked up at him, hurt. "Sir-"

"That's bullshit, Carter, and you know it."

Sam just stared at him, hurt. _'He doesn't believe me.' _Abruptly, Sam realised that she'd said what she'd said as much so that he would hear it, as for her admission to save him.

"Now follow my order and shut the hell up." Jack walked past her back to the table. "I want what Colonel Carter said to be disregarded." He told Clarke, who was taking notes.

"I'm afraid I can't do that, General." She said, smirking.

"Oh really? Colonel Carter has just been put through two weeks of torture, all in the name of her planet. She is not entirely stable or rational right now. You will disregard what she said."

"Jack!" Daniel exclaimed, shocked at the way his friend was talking about Sam.

"Stay out of this, Daniel."

"No." Daniel said.

"Indeed." Teal'c added, his deep baritone causing Clarke and Fredericks to glance at him nervously.

Years of watching people's reactions to Teal'c meant Daniel could easily read their expressions. They were afraid of the big alien.

Jack turned to Daniel and Teal'c. "Stay out of this." He said again.

Daniel shook his head.

Teal'c spoke. "Approximately four years ago I was present when both O'Neill and ColonelCarter were tested as Za'tarcs, since then their behaviour has been nothing but commendable. Their-"

"General O'Neill let his feelings for Colonel Carter cloud his judgement." Fredericks interrupted Teal'c. "He has admitted so himself and there are other documented incidents that verify this."

"You're right." Jack said.

Daniel almost gave himself whiplash turning to look at Jack. "What?"

"They're right, Daniel." Jack said, his voice quiet, tired. "I let my personal feelings for Carter influence my decision."

"Jack!" Daniel exclaimed.

"O'Neill!" Teal'c snapped.

Sam closed her eyes.

"Jack, what are you doing?" General Lewis asked softly, almost inaudibly.

"I would like the record to show that Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter is engaged. Whatever feelings might have influenced my decision, are not reciprocated on her part." He ignored the shocked looks he was attracting from SG-1 and levelled a glare at the three people sitting opposite. "No matter what she says."

"General, what exactly are you saying?" Clarke asked, as though she couldn't quite believe that he was _admitting_ it.

"He's not saying another word." It was an order, directed at Jack, and it came from General Lewis. "I call for a recess. Go and get yourselves something to eat and drink, be back here in fifteen minutes." He said to Clarke and Fredericks, not taking his eyes from Jack.

"But sir!" Fredericks protested.

"That was an order, Airman. You too Mrs Clarke."

"You can't tell me what to do, General." She said.

"Watch me."

Obviously deciding that they couldn't win this one, Clarke and Fredericks stood and left the briefing room, closing the door behind them.


	3. Faith Chapter Three

Title: Faith

Chapter: 3 of ?  
Email: S/J

Category: Angst/Romance  
Spoilers: Jack's a General; Sam's a Colonel and engaged; one minor reference to Affinity. General spoilers up to season eight.  
Content Warnings: None  
Summary:

Rating: Suitable for all.  
Disclaimer: I do not own SG-1. Stamps foot and tosses hair childishly.   
Archive: SJFic - Yes. My site, Anywhere else - Yes.

Author's Note: Please feedback me, I'm greedy.

"What the hell do you think you're doing, Jack?" Daniel asked, before Lewis could speak.

"I'd like to know the answer to that." Lewis said, studying Jack's face.

"They're right." Jack said, not looking up.

"Jack, there's a time and a place for honesty. This isn't it." Lewis said, gently. "These people want your blood."

Jack gave a short, derisive laugh. "Nothin' new there."

"I did some interesting reading while you were out disobeying orders, Jack." Lewis said.

"Oh yeah?" Jack asked, disinterested.

"Yeah. Your file. You've been busy these past few years haven't you?"

"Little bit. Got some fishing in."

Lewis smiled. "You can't do this, Jack. We can't afford to lose you yet."

"You wanna know who you can't afford to lose?" Jack asked. "Carter." He said, answering his own question. "Foremost expert on the Stargate, leader of the flagship team. Trust me when I say that you can't afford to lose her. Me? I'm not such a loss."

"Sir." Sam said.

Jack turned to look at her. "Carter?"

"This is wrong."

"Tell me about it. I was gonna send search and rescue after you until Daniel yelled at me."

Hurt flashed across Sam's features, only briefly visible before she got herself under control. She cast her eyes downwards, unable to look at anyone in the room.

Jack was the only one who didn't notice.

He scrubbed a hand through his hair and sighed. "Carter, they're not here because I came after you. That was just the final straw."

Lewis nodded. "I told you they were after your blood, Jack." He cleared his throat. "However, I think we can avert this crisis."

"How?" Daniel asked.

"When we first got here you showed us to the guest quarters. Colonel Fredericks was content to rest, secure in the knowledge that Jack O'Neill was a dangerous risk for the Air Force to be taking. I, however, explored the base."

"And?" Daniel asked.

"I spoke to a few people. Sergeants Harriman and Siler, Colonel Reynolds, a few others. The commissary staff."

"I am so dead." Jack muttered.

"Shut up, Jack." Daniel snapped impatiently. "You know everyone on this base would follow you any…where." Daniel's speech slowed as he worked out what General Lewis was saying. "You think we can use that?" He asked the General, some of the hostility his tone had previously held dissipating.

"I do." Lewis said, smiling at Daniel.

"I don't." Jack said, finally looking up at Lewis. "I don't want to do this anymore, Tom. I'm sick of overanalysing every decision I have to make to see if it's a purely tactical one or not."

Lewis looked at Jack empathetically. "What if I told you George is working on it?" Sam's head snapped up at this.

But Jack was quick to dismiss any hope that had flared in her mind. "What if I told you its too late?" He asked Lewis. Sam looked down again, unnoticed by Jack.

"Too late?"

Jack just nodded. "Look, if the Pentagon doesn't want me in charge here, I can live with that. I _agree _with them."

"The Pentagon doesn't always know what's best, Jack. General Hammond seems to think we need you here. All of you." He added looking at each member of SG-1 in turn, his eyes lingering on Sam for slightly longer than on the others. "After seeing the base, and meeting you all, I'm inclined to agree."

He stared at Jack for a long moment. "All right, O'Neill. Cut the crap." Jack's head snapped up. "I'm not buying this defeatist attitude, not from you."

"It's been a long time, people change."

Lewis laughed out loud at that. "People might, but you don't."

"I'm glad I'm so predictable." Jack snapped.

"Yeah, you can always count on Jack O'Neill to do something truly stupid to mess up anything good he has going." Lewis snapped back.

"There's that." Jack replied.

"What are you going to do?"

"Nothing. I told you. There's nothing I can do. Nothing I want to do."

"Stop sulking and think, Jack."

"I do not sulk." Jack protested, oblivious to the grins of both Daniel and Teal'c.

"You do. Never met a surlier officer in my life." Lewis said.

Jack merely shrugged.

"How am I supposed to help you if you're intent on self-destruction?" Lewis said, frustration finally creeping into his tone.

"There's no point in my being here, Tom. Anyone could run this place."

"That isn't true, Jack. You know why you're here." Lewis said, his tone indicating that the reason was more than just the fact that Jack had been General Hammond's second in command.

"Remind me."

"Don't be an ass, Jack." Lewis snapped. Jack continued to wear his patented blank look. Lewis narrowed his eyes. "You are here, General O'Neill, because General Hammond knew that you would take care of his people, no matter what the personal cost. Including the little stunt you just pulled to rescue Colonel Carter." He paused, looking at Jack with something akin to empathy in his eyes. "How the hell are we going to get you out of this?"

"You shouldn't be talking like that," Jack said, "Fredericks won't like it."

"It is really quite simple to defend O'Neill in this case." Teal'c said, ignoring Jack.

Daniel nodded. "He would have done what he did for any of us."

"It's not the act itself that bothers them, its the motives behind it." Lewis said, shaking his head.

"Time's up." Jack said, nodding towards the door.

Clarke and Fredericks were re-entering the briefing room.

Lewis glared at them. "You're early."

"Only a few moments, General. I trust we didn't interrupt anything important?" Clarke said, the recess having done nothing to improve her tone.

"Nah, nothing important." Jack said amiably as Fredericks and Clarke retook their seats.

"Now," Clarke began officiously, "if we could just get back to the matter at hand?"

Before anyone could answer her there was a knock at the door and Walter peered around it.

"Yes, Walter?" Jack asked.

"General, there's a call for Colonel Carter."

Jack looked at Sam and nodded his permission for her to leave the room.

Sam hesitated. She didn't want to leave, but the call might be important.

Reluctantly, she rose, nodding respectfully to Jack and General Lewis, and managing to completely ignore Fredericks.

As she left the room she heard the investigation resume.

She followed Walter to the nearest telephone, before she picked it up, she asked, "Who is it?"

"It's a detective Shanahan, ma'am." Walter told her, before turning and leaving her to her phone call.

Sam stared at the phone as though she'd never seen one before. _Pete. _Since her revelation in the cell she hadn't really given him a second thought.

Not that she didn't care about him, or that she was callous, it was just that things were seldom so clear as they had been in that cell.

Pete Shanahan was not Jack O'Neill.

He never would be.

And for all the logical reasons that Pete was the "better" choice, she knew that he could never mean as much to her as Jack did.

Sometimes, when she was feeling cynical, she mused that she felt this drawn to Jack because he was just as fucked up as she.

Jerking herself back to the present, Sam sucked in a deep breath and picked up the phone. "Hello?"

The conversation was not one of the most pleasant Sam had ever had.

She had been stilted, distracted. Pete had noticed.

He had asked her what was wrong. She had told him that she needed to see him, at her home, tonight.

He had agreed, worry and fear infusing his tone.

She hung up, hating herself for doing this to him.

But she had to. No matter what was going on with her and Jack right now. No matter what happened from here on out regarding 'them', she had to do this.

It was unfair to Pete and to herself to continue living a lie.

Sam sighed deeply, shaking herself, and walked back to the briefing room.

She passed a small office. Hearing voices, she looked inside.

Lewis, Fredericks and Clarke were all inside, standing around a telephone, obviously listening to someone on speakerphone.

She headed for the briefing room.

As she reached the door she heard Daniel say, "What about Sam?" She paused at the door.

Evidently he had been addressing Jack, as it was he who answered, "This has nothing to do with Carter, Daniel. I don't think I'm ever gonna speak to her again."

Sam froze in the briefing room doorway.

Jack and Daniel were sitting with their backs to her, Daniel looking inquisitively at Jack, while the General avoided his eyes, apparently engrossed in the design of the table top.

"There's nothing to stop you being friends, Jack." Daniel pointed out.

Jack gave a bitter laugh. "Isn't there?"

"Jack…" Daniel began.

"Daniel, can it, will ya? This whole thing with Carter and me is just flogging the proverbial dead horse."

Sam stood stock still. Jack's words and the tone of voice he used had shaken her. They couldn't even be friends?

She realised her fears in the cell had been justified.

_He doesn't care anymore._

She sucked in a breath as though physically pained.

Daniel heard and turned towards the door. "Sam!" He exclaimed in the tones of one who is not quite sure what the other has heard.

His greeting had finally gotten Jack's attention away from his study of the briefing room table. "Carter-" He began, trying to explain.

Sam stared at him for a second. Then spun on her heel and left, stalking unseeing through the SGC corridors until she reached the elevator. She hit the button that would take her up, and leant back against the wall as the elevator began to move.

Back in the briefing room Jack's head hit the table. "Shit."

"Nice going, Jack." Daniel said sarcastically.

Jack didn't reply, just kept his head on the table, his eyes closed. "Crap."

"Is there a problem, General O'Neill?" Clarke asked.

Jack looked up to see that she and the two Air Force officers had re-entered the room and were re-taking their seats.

"Oh yeah. Big problem. Huge." Jack muttered.

Lewis shot him a quizzical look, but Jack just ignored him.

Daniel cleared his throat. "What was that all about?" He asked, referring to their phone conversation.

"That was a conference call with General Hammond and President Hayes." Lewis said, unable to keep the smile from his face. "They had some interesting things to say. "

Clarke spoke, distaste flavouring her tone. "They did indeed. Apparently the President has made his own decision about who he wants running this base, regardless of what his advisors have to say in the matter."

Lewis smiled. "Both the President and General Hammond feel that this base will only run at its optimum under the command of Brigadier General Jack O'Neill."

Fredericks gave a small cough to attract attention to himself. Daniel and Teal'c turned to look at him.

Jack preferred to keep his eyes on the tabletop.

"There will be, of course, new rules and regulations for the SGC, specifically a fine tuning of the fraternisation regulations."

Daniel saw the corner of Jack's mouth quirk up slightly. "Of course there will." He heard his friend mutter under his breath.

General Lewis also appeared to notice Jack's less than enthusiastic reaction. "Yes, well," he began, "that will be discussed at a later date. Today, however, we are pleased to tell you that it is the finding of this enquiry that General O'Neill's actions, while still a cause for concern, pose no threat to this project. "

"It is my duty to inform you, General O'Neill, that the Pentagon will be keeping a close eye on you from now on, just to ensure that this facility continues to run as smoothly as ever." Clarke said, flavouring her last words with sarcasm.

"Don't bother." Jack said, finally looking up. His eyes met Clarke's.

"I'm sorry?" She said, obviously not believing what she'd heard.

"I said, don't bother." Jack pushed himself away from the table and stood. He looked at General Lewis. "General Lewis I would like to inform you of my resignation, commencing immediately."

"You can't resign, Jack." His friend told him, disbelief in his tone.

"I can, General. I am well within my rights. As a superior Air Force officer you have a duty to hear my verbal resignation, I will submit a written resignation to General Hammond ASAP."

"You have no reason to-" Lewis began.

"I do, sir. Obviously there are certain parties that feel I am unfit for this command. Their opinion of me could affect their opinion of the Stargate program and cause them to be disinclined to support it." Jack paused before continuing, "Also, sir, if I may speak freely?"

Daniel was openly staring up at his friend, shocked at both the resignation and the uncharacteristic formality coming from Jack.

Lewis nodded wearily.

"I am not entirely sure I want to work for and with people who do not trust me and the people under my command." He looked at Clarke and Fredericks. "While I have no problem with my work being under scrutiny, I refuse to allow my emotions to be analysed by people who don't know me."

There was shocked silence in the briefing room.

Daniel saw a small smile form on Clarke's face and looked away, disgusted.

"I could refuse you, you know." Lewis told Jack, anger darkening his tone.

"You won't, 'cause you know I'll just get myself in more trouble if you do." Jack said, confident, his tone losing the formality it had adopted.

Lewis nodded. "Fine. Your resignation is accepted, General. But be warned: You might not be able to come back this time, Jack."

"I don't care." Jack replied., then he smiled at his friend. "Thanks, Tom."

Lewis nodded.

Jack turned to Clarke and Fredericks. "And thank _you_." He said mockingly.

He turned and, grabbing his BDU jacket, headed for the door.

"Jack?" Lewis called, "Aren't you forgetting something?"

Jack paused. "Oh, yeah." He said softly. He held his jacket up and tore the velcro SGC patches from the sleeves. "Haven't got time to change, anyway." He said, tossing them to the table.

"What? Why?" Daniel finally found his voice.

Jack just smiled, a genuine, if somewhat weak, smile, and stalked out of the room.

Clarke began to gather her papers, Fredericks following her example. Lewis just sat and stared at his hands.

"Where's he going?" Daniel asked, looking at Teal'c, who didn't look even mildly disturbed at his friend's behaviour.

"He's gone to find Colonel Carter." Lewis said. "He's got some explaining to do."

Clarke stilled in her paper-tidying.

"How do you know that?" Daniel asked.

"I passed her in the corridor as we came back." Lewis explained. "Only Jack makes people that angry."

"Indeed." Teal'c said, not opening his eyes.


	4. Faith Chapter Four

Title: Faith

Chapter: 4 of ?  
Email: S/J

Category: Angst/Romance  
Spoilers: Jack's a General; Sam's a Colonel and engaged; minor reference to Affinity. General spoilers up to season eight.  
Content Warnings: None  
Disclaimer: I do not own SG-1. Stamps foot and tosses hair childishly.   
Archive: SJFic - Yes.

My site : else - Yes.

Author's Note: Please feedback me, I'm greedy.

Sorry for the long space between updates, had to go away from work and they wouldn't supply me with a computer to write fic on!

Thanks to everyone that gave feedback, all hugely positive and supportive, you know who you are.

Thanks to my boyfriend who serves as my beta reader, the man has the patience of a saint!

It was only when Jack parked the truck up across the street from Carter's house that he realised he had _really_ not thought this through well enough.

It was unlike him. Consummate strategist that he was, he had come here with no strategy, no game plan.

And whose car was that parked next to Carter's volvo?

Jack stiffened in his seat as memory flashed a card. Pete Shanahan's car.

'_Dumb, O'Neill. Real dumb.'_ He berated himself. '_Really shoulda thought this through.'_

He re-started the engine, only to turn it off again. He wasn't doing anything wrong. He had come to apologise to his friend for upsetting her. To see if she was okay.

Despite what he had said to Daniel, Jack was more than willing to attempt friendship with Carter.

In any case, he wasn't about to let what friendship they had forged over the years end like this.

Fiancé or not, Jack was going to make sure Carter was okay.

That _they_ were okay.

Now he just had to think of something to say.

Jack was lost in thought as he made his way to her front door.

Mind still a blank, he raised his hand to knock, just as the door opened.

Framed in the doorway was Pete Shanahan. The man looked upset, hurt, angry.

He took Jack in with a sweep of his eyes. "Oh." He said. "Its you."

Confused, Jack could only nod at the younger man in confirmation of this simple fact.

Pete nodded as though he had expected Jack's presence on his fiancée's doorstep all along, and said, "She's through there. Excuse me."

Jack moved aside slightly and the younger man stepped out of the house and began to walk down the path.

"Where are you going?" Jack blurted, wincing when he realised how clumsy that sounded and that it probably wasn't any of his business anyway.

Pete stopped but didn't turn. "I'm leaving." He said quietly.

"What? Why?" Jack asked, realising that this was the longest conversation he had ever had with the man.

"I wasn't enough." Pete said, simply. He walked to his car, got in it, and drove away.

Jack stared after him, wondering what he'd meant.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

The voice was cold, angry, and it belonged to Sam Carter.

Jack turned to face her.

She was standing just outside her front door, wearing jeans and a nondescript dark blue t-shirt.

"I came to see if you were okay." He told her. "What happened?" He asked, seeing that she'd been crying.

"Why do you care?" She asked, obviously fuming.

Internally Jack flinched at her tone and said, "I care."

She snorted. "Of course you do."

"What's going on?" Jack asked.

"Its none of your business." She told him.

Obviously, rephrasing his earlier question wasn't going to work. "You're my friend." He said.

"We're not friends, we never were." She replied, the cold fury still darkening her tone.

Jack's eyes searched her face. "No." He said. "I guess not." He turned and began to walk back to his truck.

"See you around, sir." Carter called after him sarcastically.

"No, Sam, you won't." He called over his shoulder as he crossed the street. "And don't call me sir."

"Why not?" She asked.

"I quit." He told her, answering both possible questions as he climbed into the truck.

He started the engine, and pulled away from the kerb. _Time to go home, Jack._

Sam watched as he drove away, his words sinking in.

He'd quit?

Left the SGC, the Air Force?

He'd come here?

He was still wearing his BDUs. He had looked tired, and dirty. He'd obviously come straight from the investigation, and he hadn't had time for a post-mission shower before that.

He'd come here.

They must have fired him.

But he said he'd quit. He wasn't likely to lie.

She laughed hollowly at that. He'd lied to her. About them. About their 'friendship'. About feeling… feelings.

She shook her head to stop herself thinking about him. Who cared if he'd jumped or been pushed?

It didn't matter. Not to her.

She realised she was shivering and headed back into the house, closing the door on the night.

But rather than going to bed, she stood in the middle of her den, lost. She glanced at the wall clock: 23:30.

He'd come to her house at 23:30, after going on a mission to rescue her and then being put through an investigation. She figured he hadn't slept or eaten for well over twenty-four hours.

_And he came here._

"Damn." She muttered to herself, turning and grabbing her coat and car keys, and heading out the door.


	5. Chapter 5

There were no lights on at his house when she reached it.

Granted she'd just driven around his neighbourhood for the past – she checked her watch – hour and a half, but she'd expected him to be awake.

She got out of her car and approached his house.

The truck was parked somewhat haphazardly in the driveway, so he was home.

A suspicion began to form in her mind. Knowing Jack O'Neill for almost nine years had given her some idea of how he would behave in any given situation.

A head start on working it out, anyway.

If he was home, and she suspected he was, he was likely to brood, rather than go to bed.

She found she was angry at him. There was so much she didn't understand, and the scientist in her hated that.

Her anger lending her confidence, she approached the front door.

Finding it unlocked, as always, she opened it and stepped inside, closing it behind her.

Feeling her way in the darkness, she almost tripped down the steps that led to his den.

He was lying on the couch, heavy glass tumbler in hand. The bottle of whiskey that he was currently drinking from sitting on the coffee table.

"Whoever you are, you'd better have a damn good reason for interrupting my quality time with-" A quick glance at the bottle, "Mr. Jim Beam."

Since he didn't bother to look round and see who it was, Sam guessed he knew.

"This is a bit of a cliché, isn't it?" She asked scornfully, eyeing up first the bottle, then the empty beer bottles standing next to the couch.

"You come here to piss me off, Carter?" He asked, still not bothering to move.

Sam shook her head and made her way back up the steps and into the kitchen.

After opening and closing several cupboards, she found what she was looking for and returned to the den with a tumbler matching his own.

She took a seat on his coffee table and poured herself a good measure of whiskey.

She sat back and sipped it, watching him.

"What do you want, Carter?" His tone matched her earlier one.

"Why did you come to my house?"

"Doesn't matter."

"I want to know." She told him.

"Why?" He finally looked at her, shifting so that he was sitting up slightly.

"Because I do." She said.

"Not good enough." He snapped. "Go home, Carter."

"Can't." She said. "I've had a drink." She held up the tumbler to demonstrate. "And then I have to wait at least an hour before I drive."

His eyes met hers briefly and she saw confusion there, as though he were trying to remember something but couldn't.

His reaction answered something she'd been wondering about for the past year: how much he remembered from his last 'ancient download'.

Not much, it seemed.

When the confusion disappeared it was replaced by anger, making Sam look down at her drink. '_Strategic withdrawal'_, she thought, stifling the ridiculous urge to laugh at herself.

"You quit?" She asked, not looking up.

"Yes." He said, not bothering to elaborate.

"Why?"

"What was Shanahan's problem?" He asked, draining the last of his whiskey and sitting up to pour himself more.

The bottle was empty and he picked it up from the table, holding the neck between thumb and forefinger, swinging it slightly so that it hit the edge of the table.

She stared at him, momentarily shocked into silence. "His problem?" She asked incredulously.

He looked up at her, stilling the motion of the bottle. "Yeah, Carter, his problem?"

She shook her head, still staring at him in disbelief. "I broke off the engagement." She told him, her voice cold.

"Don't look at me like that; I'm not a mind-reader. How was I supposed to know?"

"I would have thought it was obvious." She snapped.

"A lotta things are becoming obvious to me tonight that weren't before." He said.

"What's that supposed to mean?" She asked, anger suffusing her words.

"You figure it out." He said. He stood and walked into the kitchen, returning a moment later with another bottle of whiskey.

Watching him closely, Sam saw that he was slightly unsteady on his feet, his movements slightly less balanced than usual.

"You're drunk." She accused.

"Yep." He answered, pouring himself another drink and setting the bottle on the table. "No work tomorrow."

He sat down opposite her position on the coffee table. Their knees were almost touching and the almost-contact made Sam uncomfortable.

"What do you want, Carter?"

"What?" She asked, thrown by the sudden question.

"What do you want?" He repeated.

She met his eyes.

He was still angry. She could barely see him in the darkness, but knew him well enough to know what his complete lack of expression meant.

So what? She was angry too.

"Why'd you quit?" She asked.

"They were gonna 'keep an eye on me'." He told her, disgusted.

"Why?"

"Finally went too far, I guess." He paused. "Why'd you break up with Pete?"

"It doesn't matter." She told him.

He smiled and shook his head. "Go home, Carter."

"Sam." She said, quietly.

"What?"

"My name is Sam." She snapped.

"Fine. Sam. Whatever. Not like it matters what I call you anymore, is it?" He asked, his own anger rising to the fore.

"No, _sir_." She said, stressing the honorific and watching him flinch.

He glared at her. "Go home, _Sam_."

"No." She said.

"No?" He repeated, incredulous.

She shook her head.

"Why are you so angry with me?" She asked.

"I have every right to be pissed at you, Carter." He snapped, rising suddenly and walking to the window, anything to escape her.

She glared at his back. "Why?"

"We were supposed to be friends." He told her. "But we can't even do that, according to you."

"According to _you_!" She shot back, surprised at her own vehemence.

"Me?" He asked, turning to look at her.

"Why weren't you going to come after me, Jack?" She asked again.

He didn't answer her, just knocked back the last of his whiskey.

"Do you know the only thing that kept me sane in that cell?" She asked.

Her question caught Jack off-balance, he turned to look at her and the anger in his expression was replaced with confusion. "No, what?"

"I knew you would find me. I knew you would. That's why I broke up with Pete."

She stared at him a long moment, watching her words sink in.

"The only reason I made it out of that cell was because of my faith in you. In this." She gestured between them. "And then I get home and I find out that it's not real. That it probably never was. That you don't care." She said, anger and hurt revealing themselves in every syllable, making her feel vulnerable and exposed.

Jack stared at her. "How the fuck can you accuse me of that, Carter?" He growled, the look in his eyes setting off warning bells in her head.

"Because I'm right?" She retorted, sounding braver than she felt.

He snorted at that. "Yeah, you always gotta be right, don'tcha Carter? Never occurs to you that maybe, just maybe, I might just be smart enough to know what's going on in my own head just a little bit better than you."

"What is that, then?" She asked.

"What?"

"What's going on in your head?"

"Why ask? You already know _everything._" He said, sweeping the hand that held the tumbler out in an all-encompassing gesture.

"Do you always have to be so childish?" She yelled.

"Yes!" He answered.

Having reached an impasse, they glared at one another.

Jack was the first to look away, he sighed, dragging his free hand through his hair, and said, "Look, Carter, why don't we just cut our losses here, huh?"

"What?" She snapped. "You want me to just leave?"

He nodded. "Yep." He said, walking over to the coffee table and pouring himself another drink.

She glared at him. "You selfish son-of-a-bitch."

"I'm selfish?" He slammed the tumbler down onto the table next to her leg. "From the get-go this has always been about you, Carter. Your feelings, your career, your engagement." He glared at her a moment before continuing. "And now, you come here, to my home, to get up on your soapbox and tell me _you're _pissed at _me_? Go home, Carter."

He turned and walked away from her again.

"I'm not going anywhere."

"Fine, stay then. I don't care."

"Why shouldn't I be pissed at you?" She asked, baiting him.

He was just drunk enough to be slightly more talkative than usual, snapping, "Because I never put you second."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"God, Carter, you're the genius here, you figure it out."

"You said it."

"I just gave up my career to make your life easier. I really don't need you comin' round here," he swept out an arm to encompass his living room, neatly knocking over some photographs that were on the sideboard behind him, "telling me how angry you are at me!" He paused to glare at her. "I'm angry with you!"

"Why?" Sam asked.

"Because I'm in love with you!" He yelled, stopping suddenly as though he'd suddenly realised what it was he'd said.

Sam stared at him, speechlessly for a full minute before asking, "What?"

Jack didn't answer her, he had his hands over his face. She heard him mutter "Oh _crap_" through his fingers.

She was still staring at him, disbelieving. "In love with… but… you… you never said!" She stammered.

"I thought it was kinda obvious." He growled, dropping his hands to resume glaring at her.

"How?" She demanded.

"You know, for a genius, you can be extraordinarily dense sometimes." He told her.

"This from you?"

"Hey! I'm dense all the time! At least I'm consistent."

"And what, in your opinion, _Jack_, am I dense about?" She challenged, her brain still too numb from the magnitude of what he'd just confessed to think properly.

In two quick strides he was across the room and pulling her up from the coffee table, knocking it over in the process.

She heard the bottle and glasses hit the floor behind her.

"This." He pulled her face up to meet his, kissing her forcefully.

She stopped trying to push him away and dug her nails into his SGC-issue black t-shirt, pulling him towards herself.

She felt his hands slide into her hair, pulling on it, yanking her closer.

She thrust her tongue into his mouth, tasting the whiskey he had been drinking.

After several searing moments Jack released her, stepping back.

She stared at him, not understanding.

"Now go home, Carter." He said nastily, still breathing heavily.

"What?" Sam asked, dumbstruck.

"I was just proving a point, Carter. Go home." Jack said.

Sam stared at him incredulously for a moment.

Seconds ago this man had been kissing her. Passionately. Desperately.

Seconds ago this man had been pulling on her hair in an effort to get her body closer to his.

Seconds ago this man had made her feel like the most desirable woman in the world. The galaxy. The universe.

She hit him.

She didn't slap him. Sam Carter had been an Air Force officer all her adult life. She punched him.

Hard.

He must've been drunker than she thought. Her punch caused him to sway on his feet. The man that sparred with Teal'c was swaying.

He was going to fall. Sam knew it in the split second before it happened.

At the last moment he reached out and grabbed her arm, trying to steady himself.

Sam tried to wrench it out of his grip, and ended up toppling to the ground with him, landing on top of him.


	6. Faith Chapter 6

Title: Faith

Chapter: 6 of ?

Email: When everything else is stripped away, all you are left with is faith. You might find it is not placed where you thought.

Category: Angst/Romance

Rating: Mature

Pairing: S/J

Season: Eight

Spoilers: general spoilers up to season 8, Affinity.

Content Warnings: Sex

Archive: My site: Yes

SamandJack: Yes

Anywhere else: Yes

Disclaimer: I do not own SG-1 or Jack. Sadly.

Author's Note: Again, sorry for the long update. Writers' block and real life.

They regarded one another for a long moment.

Jack's lower lip was bleeding. "You hit me."

Sam swallowed. She was lying on top of Jack O'Neill. It was not exactly conducive to coherent thought.

She kissed him, thrusting her tongue into his mouth as soon as he opened it, tasting blood from his lip.

She pulled his lip between her teeth, feeling his moan of mingled pain and pleasure, rather than hearing it.

Jack soon seemed to forget about his bleeding lip, thrusting his tongue into her mouth, exploring.

Sam moaned softly as his hands began to journey down her back towards her ass, cupping it and pulling her pelvis closer to his own.

Sam wriggled against him, giggling when she heard him growl low in his throat.

She couldn't quite fathom how they'd gone from explosive anger to… this. But she liked it.

She had always known he'd be good at this, she mused he deftly unsnapped her bra.

Okay, the talking thing he was not so good at.

But this? This he was _always_ going to excel at, even slightly inebriated, as he was now.

She found that, even though she was enjoying their current activities, even though fierce desire for him was making her entire body burn, she was still angry at him. Angry enough to pull his hair until his head hit the floor beneath them, crushing her hand.

She ignored the glare he sent her and moved her mouth to his neck, licking, sucking and biting viciously.

In one swift move he had her pinned beneath himself, leaving her puzzled as to how he did it.

His hands slid her t-shirt upwards roughly, making the material rub against her sensitised skin.

Without hesitation, his head bent to her breasts, taking one nipple in his mouth, his hand expertly kneading the other breast.

Sam's hands travelled down his back to yank his t-shirt upwards. He wasn't fast enough in complying with her actions and she heard the material rip.

She raked her short nails up his back, thrusting her fingers into his hair and pulling his head down to her body.

She felt his free hand reach down between them, felt him unbutton and unzip her jeans.

Some part of his brain must have still been operating clearly, as he realised there was no way he was going to get her jeans off while still lying on top of her on the floor.

He stood, pulling her up with him.

Her hands flew to the button of the BDU pants he was wearing yanking it open and unfastening the zipper.

The pants were loose on him and they fell to the ground, revealing black cotton boxer shorts.

Jack stepped out of the pants and moved to pull Sam's jeans down her legs, unfairly, he also pulled her panties off in the same move, leaving Sam standing completely naked in his living room.

His eyes swept up and down her body, taking in the slight flush that told him she was both aroused and a little self-conscious, and the glare that told him she was still angry as hell at him.

Her hands found the waistband of his boxer shorts and pulled them down over his hips, exposing him fully to her gaze.

Seemingly without signal, they reached for one another. Jack pushed her backwards, seeking the wall.

What they found was the hall table. They knocked it to the ground, hearing keys clattering to the ground, among other things.

Jack pushed Sam against the wall, hearing her hit her head against it.

He laughed roughly when she glared at him, covering her mouth with his own when she tried to reproach him.

She reached down between them, taking hold of him and guiding him towards her opening.

He hissed and his head dropped to her neck as he entered her slowly. He stopped after pushing in only a little way.

She grabbed his hair and dragged his head back so she could look at him. "Don't even _think _about stopping there." She growled, surprised at herself.

He chuckled, a deliciously low sound that made her shiver.

He grabbed her chin and lifted her face, holding her eyes with his own.

"Why'd you hit me?" He asked.

Sam was breathless.

He was asking questions?

_Now?_

His head titled to the side inquisitively.

"Because… because you're a bastard." She panted, trying unsuccessfully to thrust against him.

"Why?"

She glared at him.

"Because I need you." She whispered.

Jack nodded. He lifted her hips up, angling them slightly, and thrust deeply into her, making her scream.

His fingers dug into her hips as he felt her surround him. His eyes slid closed as he began to thrust into her.

Their surroundings disappeared, each of them too wrapped up in the sensations the other was causing to notice the outside world.


	7. Faith Chapter 7

Title: Faith

Chapter: 7 of ?

Email: When everything else is stripped away, all you are left with is faith. You might find it is not placed where you thought.

Category: Angst/Romance

Rating: Teen

Pairing: S/J

Season: 8

Spoilers: General spoilers for everything up to, and including, season 8.

Content Warnings: None

Archive: My site: I don't own SG-1. Or Jack. _Dammit!_

Author's Note: All that writers' block for so long, then this comes to me on the train to work. Go figure.

When she awoke she was surrounded by softness.

She didn't open her eyes, just savoured the sensation.

Then the previous days' events came back with a vengeance.

Now she didn't open her eyes for another reason altogether.

She figured she must be in Jack's bed because she didn't remember going home.

Didn't remember much of anything, actually, after-

"Hey."

Yeah. She's been wondering where he was.

She opened her eyes and blinked in the dawn light that was filling the room.

"You okay?" He asked.

She nodded, avoiding looking at him for the moment and concerning herself with her surroundings: his bedroom.

"How did I get in here?" She asked, feeling oddly stupid that that was the first thing she said to him.

"Uh… you passed out." He replied, sounding slightly embarrassed by it. "I was worried." He admitted.

Sam blushed. "i think I was just exhausted and over… stimulated." She said, wondering if it would ever be possible to look at him again.

"Well, you had been through a lot." He reasoned, tactfully avoiding _that_ avenue of conversation.

"What time is it?" She asked.

"Oh-six-hundred." He replied. His voice sounded strange. Muffled.

Puzzled, Sam finally dragged her eyes away from the coverlet and looked at him.

He was standing in the doorway to the bedroom, leaning on the doorframe. He was dressed in his green BDU pants and was holding what looked like an ice pack to his mouth.

"Isn't it a little late for that?" Sam asked, nodding at the ice pack

"Better late than never?" He suggested, the half of his mouth that she could see quirking upwards into a smirk. "Kinda hoping it's gonna work, though." He added thoughtfully. "I don't want to have to explain to Hammond why I've got a busted lip."

"Hammond?" Sam asked timorously.

"Flew in last night, apparently. He said he called when he got in, I must have been… busy."

To her eternal embarrassment, Sam blushed, again. "Is he coming here?" She asked, trying to ignore the heat she could feel in her face.

"Don't worry. You're safe." He smirked. He walked into the room and sat down on the edge of the bed, facing away from her. "It's me that's gonna get my ass handed to me."

It was easier to look at him when he had his back to her, Sam mused.

He had obviously showered, his hair was still damp.

Studying the well-defined muscles of his back, Sam derived a strange sense of ownership from the deep scratch marks running down his tanned skin.

_How does he have a tan? He's been in the mountain for god knows how long. So how does he have a tan? I just burn._

She shook her head to clear it of that thought. She still had no idea where they stood; what he wanted.

As though he read her mind he said, "What do you want to do now?"

"What do you want?" She asked.

"Doesn't matter what I want. Tried to tell you that last night, but I was a little-"

"Drunk?" She cut in.

"Pissed off." He corrected. He turned to look at her. "Why'd you come here last night?"

"I would have thought that was obvious." She said, sounding braver that she felt.

Her nervousness was slightly alleviated when he smirked back. "Uh huh. So you're tellin' me this was what you had in mind when you showed up last night?" He gestured along her body, which, she noticed for the first time, was only covered by the thin coverlet.

"Okay, maybe not." She said. "I wanted to find out why you came to my house."

"I told you: I wanted to make sure you were okay. I said some things and I think you probably got the wrong idea." He sounded uncomfortable, a sure sign that he felt guilty.

"Got the wrong idea?" She repeated. "You said you didn't want to be friends with me."

"No. I didn't." He said. "I said that I didn't think we could be friends."

"How is that different?" Sam asked, her relaxed mood receding to be replaced by her anger.

He stared at her for a moment. "You really are dense sometimes." He told her, smiling crookedly.

She glared at him. "Is this for the same reason you said I was dense last night?"

He nodded. "What do you wanna do?" He asked, his expression sobering.

"What are my options?" She asked shyly.

He stared at her again, that _I-can't-believe-someone-as-smart-as-you-can-be-so-dumb_ look he sometimes sent Daniel. "What do you think?"

"Why'd you quit?" She countered.

"I told you. They wanted to-"

"That's all?" She asked.

"No." He admitted.

"I want… this." She said. "Minus the bruises." She added.

"Bruises?" He asked, refusing to let himself believe what he thought he'd heard.

She slid the coverlet down slightly to expose her hip, careful not to expose anything else. There were five little bruises there exactly corresponding with Jack's fingers.

"Sorry." He muttered.

"I like them." She said, blushing again when he shot her a disbelieving look. '_C'mon, Sam Lieutenant Colonels do **not **blush.'_

Jack's eyes darkened suddenly.

"Jack?" She followed his gaze. Just above her hip was a large, dark bruise. It had obviously not been put there by him.

"Shoulda have nuked that place." He growled.

She reached out and touched his face. "No." She said. "You brought me home. That was more important."

He nodded.

"What are you gonna do?" She asked.

"Do?"

"About the SGC." She prompted.

"I've got a meeting with Hammond and the shrubs from yesterday." He said. "And Tom." He added as an afterthought.

"How do you know General Lewis?" She asked.

"Tom?" He grinned. "Oh, we go _way_ back."

When it didn't seem as though he was going to say anything else, Sam prompted him again, "And?"

"I got into a fight at school when I was fifteen. Tom was there representing the Air Force, some careers thing, he broke up the fight. Anyway, the school called my dad in. He wasn't pleased." Sam snorted and Jack grinned ruefully. "Yeah. The last straw and all that. We got into an argument. A big argument. Tom overheard and tried to defend me. My dad lost it then, kicked me out. Tom took me in."

She stared at him, making him shift uncomfortably.

"What?"

"I just realised how little I actually know about your past."

"Well, its not that interesting." He said, looking down at the coverlet.

She watched him a moment. "What time do you have to go see the General?"

"Eight." He said.

"I'm coming." She said.

Instead of the disagreement she felt sure would be forthcoming, he said, "I thought you might be." He stood, making to leave the room. "Coffee?"

After she showered and dressed, Sam joined Jack in his kitchen.

"It's a mess in there." He said, inclining his head towards his living room. "Looks like somebody broke in."

"I'll help you clean it up later." She said, pouring herself a coffee and joining him at the table. "About last night…" She began. He looked at her, raising an eyebrow. "I want to be absolutely certain where we stand, before we go to this meeting."

"You're not sure?" He asked. She shook her head. "I've made my position clear, Sam. Its up to you."

"You always do that. Why is it always up to me?"

"Was that whining, Carter?" He teased.

"Shut up." She snapped, smiling despite herself.

"I think you know where we stand." He said.

She nodded. She knew. "You're gonna have to get something other than Fruit Loops in for breakfast." She pointed out.

"Bring your own."


	8. Faith Chapter 8

Title: Faith

Chapter: 8 / 9

Email: When everything else is stripped away, all you are left with is faith. You might find it is not placed where you thought.

Category: Angst/Romance

Rating: Teen

Pairing: S/J

Season: 8

Spoilers: General spoilers for everything up to, and including, season 8.

Content Warnings: None.

Archive: My Site: Yes

SamandJack: Yes

Anywhere else: Yes

Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be.

Author's Note: I just want to say a massive THANK YOU to absolutely everybody that sent feedback on this fic. I am eternally grateful for all the support I received and it really did give me incentive to finish it, even when it was hard. So, once again, THANK YOU! 

After some deliberation about whether it would be appropriate to arrive separately or together, they took Jack's truck.

Sam wanted to take her car, but he complained about the leg room, or lack thereof.

"And anyway, since we're going to my crucifixion-"

"You are not going to be crucified!" She retorted, annoyed at his teasing.

"Have you ever _seen_ General Hammond when he's mad? Scratch that. When he's mad at _me_? I'm a dead man."

The drive had gone far too quickly, as far as Sam was concerned.

All too soon Jack was parking the truck up in the SGC parking lot and they were passing through the first checkpoint.

They stood in the first elevator, Jack leaning against the back wall, arms folded across his chest.

"Are you _humming_?" Sam snapped, turning to glare at him.

He smiled at her and continued humming.

"How can you be so calm about this?" She asked, irritated.

"Why? Shouldn't I be?" He asked, his tone was infuriatingly light, but at least he had stopped humming.

"No!" She said, a slight disbelieving laugh present in her tone.

"Why not?" He smiled at the incredulous look she sent him. "We're covered. I quit last night. Officially. Tom witnessed my resignation and everything. We'll be fine." He reassured.

She still looked doubtful so he reached out and took her hand, pulling her back to join him in lounging against the back of the lift. "You'll be okay." He told her.

She rested her head against his shoulder. "What about you?"

"What's the worst they can do to me?"

"You want to know?" She asked, teasing.

"Probably not."

Just before they entered the briefing room they were met by the other two members of SG-1.

"Daniel, Teal'c." Jack greeted.

"I see you guys made up then." Daniel said, staring pointedly at their joined hands.

"Indeed." Teal'c said, grinning hugely.

"Keep your team in line, Carter." Jack said, his snappish tone spoilt by the smile evident in his eyes.

"They already in there?" Sam asked her teammates, ignoring him.

"Yeah." Daniel said.

"General Hammond seemed most displeased with you, O'Neill." Teal'c said.

"Thanks, Teal'c." Jack said sarcastically.

"I believe the words he used were 'Goddammed maverick son-of-a-"

"_Thank you_, Daniel." Jack snapped.

"You okay, Sam?" Daniel asked. "You didn't really get much time to recuperate."

"I'm fine, Daniel."

Before Daniel could pursue the subject the door to the briefing room opened. Colonel Fredericks stepped out into the corridor. "Ah… O'Neill, you're here. Good. The Generals will see you now."

"And good morning to you, Fredericks. Sleep well?"

"This way please." Fredericks said, ignoring Jack.

Jack shared a look with Daniel.

"Let's get this over with." He said, walking into the briefing room.

"George! Good to see you! How are the girls?"

"Don't even try it, O'Neill." Hammond barked. "Sit down."

Jack took a seat at the opposite end of the table; Sam sat on his right and Teal'c on his left. Daniel sat next to Sam.

"Good morning SG-1." Hammond said, his tone much friendlier now that he wasn't speaking to Jack.

General Lewis, sitting on Hammond's right, nodded to SG-1 and Jack.

Clarke pursed her lips before saying, "General Hammond, are you sure SG-1's attendance is required at this meeting?"

General Lewis glared at her.

"Yes." General Hammond snapped at the woman, not even gracing her with a glance.

Sam saw the corners of Jack's mouth twitch upwards slightly.

"Anyone want to tell me why I'm here?" Jack asked, leaning back in his chair.

"We are meeting this morning to discuss appropriate punishment for your insubordination, as well you know, Mr O'Neill." Clarke snapped, her nights' sleep having done nothing to improve her temper.

"Mr O'Neill." Jack mused. "Just sounds odd, doesn't it?"

Sam tried to conceal a smile.

"What we're here to discuss, _General_ O'Neill," Hammond said, stressing the rank, "is just what the hell you thought you were doing yesterday."

Sam realised Jack had been right. Hammond mad was one thing. Hammond mad at Jack was quite another.

"I resigned." Jack said, adding "sir." As a reaction to Hammond's glare.

"Like hell you did!" Hammond snapped back.

"General Lewis heard my resignation and everything, sir." Jack said.

General Hammond's glare intensified. "I am reactivating you, General O'Neill."

Jack was actually speechless.

Sam, however, said, "Sir!" Before she could stop herself.

"Something to say, Colonel Carter?" Clarke asked, vicious glee lighting her features.

Sam glared at the woman. Jack reached over and took her hand. "Easy." He murmured.

"Not one day out of the chain of command and already they are conducting an affair!" Clarke said triumphantly. "Surely now you see the danger these two are placing this base – our whole _planet_ - in!"

"Shut up." Hammond and Lewis snapped in unison.

General Hammond looked at Jack and Sam thoughtfully for a moment. "I would like to amend my earlier decision." General Hammond said, speaking slowly.

"General?" Fredericks stuttered.

Lewis was smiling, looking down at the briefing room table to conceal it.

"As head of Homeworld Security, it is my prerogative to review the situation here at the SGC, as and when I feel it necessary." He paused for a moment, clearly trying to think of how to word his next statement. "In light of both recent… developments and the fact that both officers concerned have flawless service records-"

"Taking it a bit far, isn't it, George?" Lewis said softly.

General Hammond's gaze settled on Jack. He cleared his throat. "Perhaps flawless is an exaggeration."

"Ya think?" Jack said under his breath. Sam stifled a giggle.

"_However_," General Hammond continued, "I believe that since both General O'Neill and Colonel Carter have saved their planet more times than I care to count, they are owed something. I am not going to reactivate you, General O'Neill. Since you have variously quit, retired and resigned, I feel it is time to comply with your wishes." For the first time since he had entered the room, General Hammond smiled at Jack. "You will continue to command this base as a civilian. Is that understood?" He finished, looking around the table.

"Yes, sir!" Jack said, grinning.

Clarke was outraged. "General Hammond! You cannot seriously be thinking of allowing this to continue!"

"'This', Mrs Clarke?" Hammond questioned.

"These _officers,_" She spat the word, "are conducting an affair that is in flagrant violation of the fraternisation regulations!"

"Do you have any proof that this… _affair_ began before last night?" Lewis asked.

"Well… no, but it's obvious!" Clarke stuttered, her ice queen exterior shattering in the heat of her anger.

"Then shut the hell up." Hammond snapped. "I don't listen to rumours and hearsay, is that understood?"

Jack looked impressed. "That easy, huh?" He asked quietly.

"Jack?" Lewes questioned.

"Its not that I'm not grateful, it's just… that easy?"

"Jack has a point." Daniel said. "I mean… _overnight_?"

General Hammond smiled. "Things tend to be easy when you have friends in high places, son."

"The president?" Daniel asked, perplexed.

Hammond shook his head.

"Thor." Jack and Sam said together.

Lewes nodded. "The Supreme Commander dropped by to see you last night, Jack. He _really_ likes you."

"So much so," General Hammond continued, "that he was displeased to hear that you were in trouble. He made it very clear what the Asgaard's position would be, should you cease to be involved in the Stargate programme." General Hammond was obviously trying for stern, but the twinkle in his blue eyes betrayed him.

"Well done, Thor." Jack said softly.

General Hammond nodded. "You will assume your duties as the civilian base commander after twenty-four hours downtime."

"Twenty-four hours? General-" Jack began.

Hammond cut him off, "Quit while you're ahead, son." He said, not unkindly.

Jack looked like he was about to protest again, but Sam laid a hand on his arm, silencing him.

"I think this could be good for you, Jack." Lewis said, not bothering to hide his smirk.

"I don't believe you people!" Fredericks finally spoke. "You are going to allow them to put the entire planet in danger!"

General Hammond glared at the younger officer. "Colonel Fredericks, I have known both Jack O'Neill and Samantha Carter considerably longer than you have, and I truly believe that to hinder them in any way would place this planet in greater risk than anything else. This is a difficult job to do in the best circumstances, Colonel, which you would know if you hadn't been assigned to a desk your entire career. Get the hell off my base!"

"_My _base." Jack muttered.

Fredericks looked from Hammond to Lewis and back again. He stood. "I will be filing a formal complaint about this, sirs."

"File away." Lewis said, smiling.

Fredericks stalked to the briefing room door and yanked it aside.

"Later, Fredericks," Jack drawled lazily.

Fredericks spun, glaring. "Since you are no longer a superior officer, O'Neill, I might as well tell you what I think of you," He spat.

"Tread carefully." Jack warned. "Friends in high places, remember?"

Fredericks glanced up at the ceiling. Then he looked back at Jack.

"If I were you, ColonelFredericks, I would say nothing further." Teal'c's voice resounded in the silence of the briefing room.

Abruptly, Fredericks spun on his heel and left shortly followed by Clarke, who said, "I will be making a full report to the Pentagon."

"Good." Lewis said, bored.

The briefing room was silent a moment.

Jack sheepishly looked up at Generals Hammond and Lewis. "I'm _so _not getting away with this, am I?" He asked.

"No." General Hammond said, traces of a smile evident in his features.

"Not a chance, Jack." Lewis said, openly smirking at the younger man.

"Thought not." Jack said, "What do you want?"

"Reports, Jack. All of them." Hammond said, grinning openly now.

"That shouldn't be too-" Daniel began, only to be interrupted by Jack.

"Low blow, General."

"You owe me." Hammond said.

"Uh huh. Two weeks?"

"Guess again."

"Three?" Jack said hopefully.

Hammond looked stern. "One week. Starting the day after tomorrow."

Jack narrowed his eyes at the two Generals opposite. Then brightened. "Cool."

Both older men looked confused.

"Thought I was gonna have to go do the rounds at that big Washington shindig on Friday. Looks like I'll be too busy doing paperwork. Shame." He grinned at the Generals.

He stood and turned to Sam. "Let's go home."


	9. Faith Chapter 9

Title: Faith

Chapter: 9/9

Email: When everything else is stripped away, all you are left with is faith. You might find it is not placed where you thought.

Category: Angst/Romance

Rating: Teen

Pairing: S/J

Season: 8

Spoilers: General spoilers for everything up to, and including, season 8.

Content Warnings: None

Archive: My Site: Yes

SamandJack: Yes

Anywhere else: Yes

Disclaimer: Not mine… you know the drill.

Author's Note: Finally! It's the final chapter! Just want to say a massive thanks to everybody who's stuck with the story thus far and put up with the haphazard updating schedule.

They drove back to Jack's house in silence.

Jack kept glancing over at Sam, but she stared steadfastly out of the window. She was obviously _very _deep in thought.

Knowing she would talk to him, or probably yell at him, _eventually,_ Jack said nothing. He didn't know how he got the impression that she was going to yell, maybe it had something to do with the way her jaw was clenching and unclenching rhythmically.

He pulled the truck into his driveway and switched off the ignition.

When she made no move to get out of the truck he turned to look at her. "Sam?"

"Why did you drive here?" She asked. "Did it occur to you that I might not have wanted to come here?"

He raised his eyebrows as he assimilated her words. Then he said, "It did. I drove here for two reasons. One: Your car is here; and two: my house still looks like someone broke in, you said you'd help clean it up."

"That's it?" She asked, her words dangerously crisp.

"That and the fact that we should probably talk."

"_Probably_?"

Jack sighed. "I'm going inside." He said, climbing out of the truck.

His words hung in the air of the cab. Sam watched him open the front door and walk in as his unspoken inference played though her head. _I'm going inside. You can either follow me, or you can go home. It's up to you._

Sam slid out of the truck and walked into the house, closing the door behind her.

Jack was in the living room, cleaning up the broken glass.

"Don't come in here," He said without looking up, "There's still broken glass on the floor."

She walked into the kitchen and grabbed herself a beer from the fridge.

When Jack entered the kitchen carrying the dustpan filled with broken glass. "I think I got it all." He said, tipping the pan into the garbage.

She was leaning against the kitchen side, sipping her beer, she didn't bother to reply.

He turned to face her. "All right. I can't take anymore. What's goin' on?"

"Is that it?" She asked.

Her question obviously confused him. "What?"

"Is that it?" She repeated. "You leave the Air Force but keep your job, and we… what? Settle down into domestic bliss?"

Jack smiled wryly. "I thought we talked about this this morning?"

"That was this morning." She said.

"And things're different now?" His voice carried only the slightest hint of a question.

"Yes!" She snapped, upset that he couldn't see it.

"How?" He asked.

The simple question threw Sam off balance. "What do you mean 'how'?" She asked.

"Last night I wasn't Air Force, today I'm not Air Force, what's the difference?"

Sam stared at him incredulously. "It's really that simple for you, isn't it?"

"You know me, Sam, I'm not that complex." Jack walked across the room to the refrigerator and got himself a beer.

"Bullshit." She said vehemently.

"I'm sorry?" He asked, sounding slightly amused.

His amusement irritated her. She was serious. "That's bullshit and you know it! You are _way_ more complex than you'd like to admit."

"Maybe, but I don't see what it has to do with this." He said calmly. "What is your problem?"

"What are we supposed to do now?" She asked, her anger subsiding.

He regarded her for a long moment. "We do what ever we want to do, Sam."

"And what about last night?" She asked.

"I thought we dealt with last night this morning?"

"No, Jack. We did what we always do: brushed it under the rug to deal with later." She sounded tired.

"What is it youre afraid of, exactly?" He asked.

"afraid?"

"Yes, Carter, afraid." He snapped. "It means 'to fear'."

"I don't want to become just 'Jack's girl'." She said, her voice suddenly small.

He laughed, making her stare at him. "That's it?" He asked. She nodded. "You're nuts, you know that, right?"

She stared at him again. "But-"

"No buts, Sam. Its ridiculous. No one has ever been 'just my girl'," he pulled a face, "and I doubt that you ever could be." He was obviously struggling to stop himself laughing again. He sobered slightly, his eyes searching her face. "Sam, you need to sleep," he said gently, "you've had a rough coupla days and you shouldn't have to deal with this now."

"I slept last night." She protested.

He snorted derisively. "You passed out last night. You need real sleep. In your own bed." He added.

She glared at him, her tiredness of a moment ago forgotten. "You want me to leave?"

"No!" He said hastily. "It's just… what do _you_ want, Sam?"

"I'm just not sure we can do this, and you don't seem to care one way or the other!"

Jack spoke with quiet assurance. "I'm sure."

"How?"

His mouth quirked upwards slightly "Faith."

"That's not funny."

"It wasn't meant to be."

"You really think it'll be okay?" She asked tiredly.

"We survived last night, didn't we? And we've survived worse." He pointed out. "Go to bed."

"Living room." She said, her words slurring.

"Tomorrow." He assured her.

"C'mon then." She said, pulling on his hand.

"I was gonna have another beer…" He said.

"Come to bed, Jack." She ordered.

"Well, when you put it like that…" He said, letting her lead him from the room.


End file.
